“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin
Here’s what I discovered. Failure is a step toward
your ultimate success. It’s a
lesson. A challenge. A chance
The enemy of success is
fear of failure. It's not failure itself
that's so dangerous--it's the fear of failure that keeps us doing nothing. Like
all fears, you conquer it by facing it down. And when the fear of doing nothing
exceeds the fear of doing it wrong, that is when your true work begins.
It's far better to do
something imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly. The only true failure is
doing nothing--inaction puts everything at risk. When we do nothing, it means
we are not moving anywhere. And that is a surefire way to stay in failure. All
that is required for failure to triumph is for us to do nothing.
Reframe. Try to look at the
situation from different angles. You might ask your friends or family members
to give you their honest feedback. Don’t just look for the type of support that
will feed your ego; seek out perspectives from people who may not have been supportive
during the process. The important part of this step is to listen, take in the
information, and then synthesize everything you know of your failure into a
complete picture of what happened and why. Try not to react emotionally to
anything you discover or that people express to you.
Revise. While you’re gaining a new
perspective, be open to ideas for moving forward. People might offer them
without you asking. Be prepared for that. Allow them to speak, thank them for
their feedback, and move on. When you feel like you have enough ideas to form a
new plan of action, write them out on paper. You may have to detach a little
bit and pretend you’re looking at someone else’s situation, especially when
people are offering varied suggestions. For me, the word revise is a nice way
to give myself permission to let go of this failure or path completely. Be willing to step back from anything that
isn’t working in your life.
Refocus. Once you have a new plan
or at least an idea of how you want to proceed, the most crucial thing you can
do to overcome feeling like a failure is to embrace your new path and focus. As
hard as it may be, you can’t spend any more time second guessing yourself or
replaying the pity party of why it didn’t work “the other way.”
We are products of our
past, but we don't have to let our mistakes define us. Even if the past did not
go as we had hoped, our future can still be better than we can envision. Too
often, we're afraid to talk about our past and our failures out of fear that
they'll define us. Let it out, but stay focused on what's ahead.
Consistency is key to success. Consistent action creates
consistent results. Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from
mastering the things you once thought you couldn't do. So let yourself fall
down, but learn to dust yourself off and get up and move forward. What you do
every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.
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